A Happy Marriage Needs Friends, Social Contacts and Healthy Bodies

     In every marriage both partners should have friends of their own, and they should also have friends in common who are dependable and can be relied on in times of need, and who give richness and warmth to the couple's relationship. Friends are better than acquaintances, who in turn are better than the self-absorption of an isolated, inward-looking couple.

     Our social interest, which can also be described as our concern for and belief in our fellow human beings, is measured by how we relate to other people, how much we regard them as fellow human beings rather than competitors. A couple who are interested only in their own concerns will become lonely and socially and emotionally impoverished as time passes.

Friendships do not depend on the time available for social contact, but on their quality of togetherness and unity, as seen in the affection we give, in our willingness to help each other, in our harmony of thought, in working together, in sharing our hopes and fears, in the joy of togetherness. Friendship requires plenty of patience, understanding and insight in addition to mutual care and encouragement.

      If we strive for a more conscious life we must not exclude our bodies, the natural world, or the material things that surround us. We should look after our bodies, and here too agreement between the two partners is helpful. It is all too easy to abuse the body through overwork or idleness, and to disregard its basic needs, such as exercise, fresh air, healthy food in moderation, adequate sleep and rest, and relaxation in peace and quiet.

     The body is like a horse or donkey -- indeed, St Francis referred to it as Brother Ass -- which carries our spirit and personality and must be well looked after to enable it to perform its functions effectively.

Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.

William Shakespeare

     We should make time for food, exercise and sleep, and pay special attention to our nerves, taking time out for prayer and meditation as well as for real peace and relaxation.

     It is very important that the two partners should consult together when there is anxiety about physical problems or when harmful substances such as tobacco, alcohol or drugs are in question. Today everyone knows how dearly our bodies and souls pay for such so--called pleasures, and this is an area where each partner should be concerned for the health of the other and discuss their concerns with them.

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